I have two young boys. They are three and one, and they challenge and bless me daily! I recently read in a children's magazine regarding three-year-olds, that they are becoming increasingly able to meet their own physical needs. The article spoke of ways that children who are three can do self-care! What an amazing thing to learn self-care at such a young age, I thought to myself. How useful that would have been had I learned self-care at the age of three! (Of course, as an adult, I'm thinking to myself of self-care options like: seeking counseling, having good boundaries, avoidance of negative coping habits, etc.)
It can be easy to forget that even the smallest things we do in our lives can exhibit self-care. Specifically, for a three-year-old, they are learning how to dress and undress themselves, feed themselves, take care of their own bathroom needs. These are the basics, but also the essentials, for children this age. And even for adults these details, which we tend to take for granted, can be momentous for self-care. Washing our hair, a morning shave, a nutritious breakfast. Picking up dirty laundry or cleaning out the car can make a huge difference in our lives. There may be times when you are aware of the huge roadblocks that stand between you and living the life you want to live: debt, anger, pornography, a lack of friendships, unemployment. But please hear me when I encourage you to do small things each day to care for yourself.
In this moment what can you do? You can breath and do the small things that are right in front of you. Praise yourself and recognize the positives. You may notice the negatives as well, but have compassion, encourage yourself without the criticism. Comb your hair, brush your teeth, choose to eat well today, take a walk, wear a clean shirt. Yes, the elephant in the room does need attention. And no, teeth brushing won't solve your addiction. But taking a stance in favor of self-care, even if it begins with the small things, cannot help but impact the large things as well. If you care enough for yourself to tend to the details, you will change your entire way of being in the world. When it comes time to finally hold the line with that co-worker who always interrupts you, you will be ready because you know you are worth it. And you will be ready because you have the energy to engage him this time.
Good self-care gives life. You may question that idea thinking, "But mowing the lawn and grocery shopping are not fun or energizing whatsoever!" But consider the amount of stress you feel when the lawn is over grown and you have no food in the house. The loss of money or home equity if you let the lawn go too long. The extra expense and the health problems that result from eating out too frequently. Now are you beginning to see the cost and the life drain that it is to disregard this type of self-care?
Instead, don't tackle too much at one time. Do today what you can, however small that may be. Watch it grow for you in time. Do not underestimate the power of self-care on such a basic level as diet, clothing, hygiene, etc. It will impact all that you do in other areas of your life.
