Longing for Beauty

Disclaimer: The following entry contains thoughts and material related to Christianity. While I do have a personal belief in Jesus Christ, I work with folks who believe all sorts of things and I strive to respect those differing beliefs in my work with them. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me.

"We do not want to merely “see” beauty—though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words—to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it." C.S. Lewis

"Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise." C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis notes that we must know our hearts to know we desire something that is out of this world—if they had really learned to look into their own hearts. When we do not know our hearts, when we do not listen to our hearts song to its end, we stop short of hearing the name of that which our heart truly wants. We feel its response to beauty on this earth and think it is the earthly thing it desires.

We long to be joined with the beauty we see here on this earth, but it is only a reflection of something else which we long for that much more desperately. As 1 Corinthians 13:12 reminds us, "For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

Think of the beautiful things which call to you: Stunning views from a mountain top, a well-written business plan that touts power and transformation for the company, delicious food, a beautiful woman, a handsome man. These are just a few of the many things that seduce us with their beauty.

When we think it is those things that our hearts desire we pursue the things themselves, when what we are seeing is only a reflection of actual Beauty. Food, no matter how much or how delectable, never satisfies fully. It may for a moment, but we will be hungry again in time. There are always new mountaintops to climb, but when we worship the mountain itself we have forgotten that God created the mountain to tell you something about God's character so that you can know God more fully.

When you feel the pull toward beauty, listen longer. When you are drawn toward something, when you long to be united with another, whatever beauty it may be, listen for the end of the song. That man or woman in your life may be attractive, safe, attentive, but aren't those qualities of God? Accomplishing the next business goal promises more prestige, but is it possible that connecting to the awesome power of God would be more fulfilling? Your heart's longing might not be so easy to decipher, but that is part of the journey—discovering what lies beneath your initial desire as you learn more about your heart and more about God.

I am not suggesting that you push away all earthly beauty because it is not ultimately what you desire. God has given us these gifts for a reason. However, do not get distracted by the reflection, but instead, always remember that it is only an inkling of what we will one day experience. Until that day we will always be wanting, always slightly unsatisfied, hungering for more. And that is just as God wants it, not out of malice, but out of preparation. He hopes we will wait expectantly for the fulfillment that is promised. Hoping it will keep us vigilant, eager for, and ever pursuing our Final Union.

Coming Alive

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

-Howard Thurman

focus quote - as with all focus quotes, feel free to read the above statement and let it speak what it will to you. Read no further if the quote alone stimulates enough thought. If you want more inspiration for journaling or conversations with others, then read on. Most of all, enjoy!

Most of us have, at some point in our lives, encountered those people who are alive. I mean truly alive! They exude passion, drive, enthusiasm, and direction. They have a sense of meaning in their lives, they know they are doing what they were made to do, and they have a sense of satisfaction about themselves. The Howard Thurman quote above seems so insightful because it reminds us not to try making ourselves into something we are not. The world doesn't need you to be anyone other than who you were made to be.


Instead, so often we try to transform ourselves into what we think others want or who we think they will accept or love. Before you know it you have become something artificial, superficial, inauthentic. Your true self has been hidden under the facade that you have erected to win the favor of those around you.


When I talk with people who have tried to turn themselves into what they think others want, a sad thing is often true for them: They don't like who they are, they may not like those around them, and their life is no fun at all. They are surely not bursting at the seams because they are so full of life. Rather they seem down, hollow, angry, depressed, fearful.


About what subjects do you get totally jazzed and energized? What brings you joy? What gifts do you have that you jump at the chance to use? What job or project would you volunteer to do if you had the time and money to do it? The answers to these questions help you know what makes you come alive. If you can't come up with answers to any of these questions, you may want to ask those close to you when they have seen you most passionate about something.


As you rediscover who you are and what makes you come alive, don't be surprised if more people are drawn to you, ask you what has changed about you, or notice your spirits are a bit higher than they have been in the past. It is so enjoyable being around someone like that. Someone who knows themselves, their gifts, and what they have to offer this world. Enjoy the process of coming alive!

I and Thou

"Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are."

- Madeleine L'Engle

focus quote - as with all focus quotes, feel free to read the above quote and let it speak what it will to you. For more journal and conversation fodder, read on.

Martin Buber wrote of two contrasting kinds of relationship: the I/It relationship in which we view others as an object to be used or experienced; and the I/Thou relationship in which we experience each other in a relationship with no bounds. "No bounds" sounds both freeing and terrifying to me. On one hand, it opens up possibility for authenticity. On the other hand, one who is mysterious and cannot be defined seems dangerous.

The I/Thou position can slip away so easily and instantaneously. For example, when meeting someone for the first time have you ever thought, "They remind me of so and so"? In that brief moment of introduction you have connected them with someone who they are not. They have become the It. You have refused to let them remain undefined, therefore hindering your ability to experience them purely as they are.

Is it possible to remain fully open as you interact with someone? It seems like such a tall order. But one that has rewards to be sure. Think for a moment about Christ in our lives. Does he act as we expect him to act? In my experience, rarely. Therefore, if I pigeonhole Jesus into a certain type of behavior I will most certainly miss all that he is offering me in my life and relationship with him. On the other hand, if I let him be who he is, undefined while I make no predictions about his behavior or character, I may have the privilege of experiencing Jesus. Just Jesus and nothing else. No other pieces added or taken away from him. Could there be anything more life changing?

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Is Christ who or what I would have him be? No, and neither are the other people I encounter daily. But I should be thankful they are not. If all was as I wanted it to be, I would remain the same and suffer because of it. May I continue to struggle with letting others be not as I would have them be, remembering the I/Thou position. Experiencing each moment for what it is, nothing more, nothing less.

Love Lost

"Love can sometimes be like Magic

But Magic can sometimes...
just be Illusion"

-Javan

focus quote - as with all focus quotes, feel free to read the above statement and let it speak what it will to you. Read no further if the quote alone fills you up and stimulates thought. If you want more food for journaling, pondering, or conversation with me or others, read on. Most of all, enjoy!

My heart is broken. I hurt so badly. I want my love back in my arms, rich, full, enveloping. Will this pain ever subside? I had no idea this was coming. I'm still in shock. Did I somehow miss all the signs? Is there something I could have done to prevent them from leaving? Oh, I just don't know what I'm going to do. How could they leave me? I feel betrayed, tricked, I'm a fool for trusting in love, believing this was real. But it lasted for so long. Was it all a lie? Will I ever know? How can I find out the truth of their heart? How can I win them back? But...do I even want them back? Will they only hurt me again? I vow to never be hurt like this again. I promise to never open my heart to another. I am better off without any of that risk or vulnerability. I am better off without it and I can pour myself into so many other great things. That is the last time I will allow love into my life. From this point forward I will be strong and needy of no one.

If you have ever experienced heartache, you have no doubt ushered a statement or two from the above paragraph. Maybe you have said other things in response to the immense pain of losing the love of your life. Maybe it was due to death, divorce, affair, secrecy, or some other tragedy that devastated your love relationship. But the end result was the same: pain, heart break, and a large range of other emotions as well. Are you healing? Have you healed completely, or is that even possible? Maybe you haven't even begun to look at the impact this lost love has had on you, and you think now might be the time. I have known significant losses of this kind, and while I rest assured that my heart has healed, the loss is still a part of my past. I will always remember what those relationships meant to me and how my heart broke when the love was gone. It makes me who I am today, and for that I am grateful, I would not change a thing. It was a long hard journey out of the pain; some days were good, others bad. But I am able to love well today out of the story of what I have known. If this is a victory that you also want to claim for your life, you can do it. It will take courage, there will be pain, you may feel uncertain at times. Nonetheless, you were made to love. Don't lose sight of that. Without love there is little, if anything, that is worth your energy in this life.

Longing For Home...

"Life's a voyage that's homeward bound" - Herman Melville

focus quote - as with all focus quotes, feel free to read the above quote and let it speak what it will to you. Read no further if the quote alone fills you up and stimulates thought. If you want more food for journaling, pondering, or conversation with me or others, read on. Most of all, enjoy!

Melville may be onto something when he reminds us that each moment in life is one that brings us closer to home. As we move through life we are aging, we are inevitably drawing nearer to the end of our life here on earth, nearer to death. But, there also seems to be a comfort in the realization that I am closer, daily, to going home. Depending on your faith you may have a different vantage point than I, but many spiritual perspectives hold the hope of heaven, an afterlife, or something yet to come. Regardless of your religious values, there is something in all of us that longs for home, an eternal home, not merely the one where we hang our hat, find our family, or remember from childhood photographs. I can only speak for myself, but part of me has always known I'm not fully home here, in this flesh, on this earth. Something always feels just slightly out of place or not quite satisfied. That is no insult to my amazing family, friends that are a great source of joy and encouragement, and work and hobbies that I love immensely. In this case, for me, it is not the sign of something gone awry, a hurt I am harboring, or an area that needs growth. It is simply the longing for home that God has woven into my being so that I am always leaning more toward him, toward my true home.

If you have sensed your longing for home and wondered if others feel it too, be confirmed, you are not alone. Songs have been written, close friends have confided in one another, and books have discussed the craving to be home and the long journey it can be to get there. Rest assured, you are on this journey with many others. If you so dare, speak up about your desire for home and I wouldn't be surprised if others echo your sentiments. I know I would. What a good, but sometimes stretching, want it is to be home.